


Seen and not heard

by sour_apples



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Autistic Amity Blight, Masking, Nonverbal Communication, harmful stims, internalized ableism, talks of emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29659095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sour_apples/pseuds/sour_apples
Summary: Again, Luz did not question that Amity did not speak.“Come inside?” She asked instead.
Relationships: Amity Blight & Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda, Amity Blight & Edric Blight & Emira Blight, Amity Blight & Luz Noceda
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	Seen and not heard

**Author's Note:**

> As it turns out the result of emotional abuse and being forced to mask your neurodivergence is poor mental health and communication issues! Who would have thought. I want to make it clear upfront I do not think Ed and Em are intentionally malicious, but they are at the worst of times insensitive and/or unsympathetic. And uh,, this takes place around Wing it like witches. I think that's all you need from me for now?

When Amity was eleven years old the twins wanted absolutely nothing to do with her for nearly two years.

They had gotten to the exact age where they were comfortable meeting up with friends all by themselves but Amity still legally wasn’t allowed to be by herself in the house. Given how both of their parents were constantly out for work, Mother and Father had set the rule that one of the twins could make plans as long as one of them stayed behind or they brought Amity along. Edric and Emira _always_ chose the former, because as much as they argued over who got to go out what day, they were much more embarrassed to be dragging their annoying kid sister with them everywhere-the one that could only talk about Azura books and her favorite characters for hours but not hold a conversation for her life. 

She felt eleven again, watching Ed with one foot out the second floor window and Em crossing her arms at him and bickering back and forth because they ‘ _had to do something’_ about Mittens. Outside the window it was completely dark, save for a few far away lights near the center of Bonesborough. 

“You….you can’t break curfew,” She had said dumbly. Those were the rules their parents had set in place. Arbitrary, outdated rules, but rules nonetheless. Rules Amity could follow easily, and rules she was attached to for that very reason. Edric and Emira shared an incredulous, exasperated look as if they were looking completely past Amity. Then, in perfect sync(Amity hated when they got like this), they gave her a once over.

“Kindly asking you to lay off Mittens, it’ll just be for one night.”

“Yeah,” Emira chimed in. “It’s not as if we’re going away forever.” 

Amity could have named the various times they had done this exact same thing and ditched home for days, down to the exact dates thanks to her diary, but she didn’t opt to say that. By now she was well accustomed to the fact if she tried to bring up their past behavior she’d get nowhere. That was an easy trap, and if she fell for it the twins would be talking circles around her forever and ever before her resolve caved and she eventually let them leave. It was a tactic they had developed to weasel themselves out of trouble with Mother and Father, but more often than not they directed it at her nowadays.

Amity raised an eyebrow at them. 

Edric huffed at the exact time Emira uncrossed her arms to flail them with a groan. 

“Why aren’t you on our side with this?” Emira whined.

“Mom never lets us do anything fun. You too!” Edric’s nose scrunched up in annoyance as he spoke. They never asked her to come along with them either though, Edric failed to point out. Even if one day all of the useless bans their parents put on them disappeared, Amity doubted she’d suddenly be invited to join whatever shenanigans the twins were getting themselves into. And he only ever brought up Amity’s wellbeing when they were trying to make their case for trouble. It was….disheartening. 

“You could just let us go!” They said at the exact same time. 

“Father always finds out,” Amity stated matter of factly.

“Yeah! Duh! Cause you snitch on us!” Emira countered. Amity refused to feel bad about that-they were the ones going against the rules. 

“Only because _I_ get in more trouble than you do for all this.” 

“That’s not in our control!” Edric seemed even more exasperated than before, shaking his head as if Amity was being the most difficult person in the world. Amity’s ear twitched. Did they not consider that they could _not_ go directly against their parents wishes? Or was it really just that hard to remember that their actions had just as much consequences for Amity as it did for them? Maybe it wasn’t even that hard at all, they just didn’t care. Amity gripped her fists tighter, willing her rising discomfort to go die in her throat. 

“It’s Friday, you’ll have all the free time in the world tomorrow to do...whatever it is you’re going to do. Stop being unreasonable.” 

“Yeah, it’s Friday! It’s a _Friday night!_ Historically, that’s the best time to go out and have fun! What do you expect us to do?” Emira stated. She guffawed as if there was legitimately something compelling her to be outside of the house. 

“You could _behave_.” She didn’t bother keeping the unfriendly and condescending lilt out of her tone. “Honestly, you guys are so...so childish! There is no good reason you can’t just act accordingly, for this one time.” 

“Titan, Mitty, are you even listening to yourself? It’s just sneaking out!” Emira half-laughed but there was no joy in it. Both of them kept stealing glances outside of the window as if the world was flickering outside it, but when Amity looked out it just seemed cold and dark and uninviting. Not safe. Looking back at them, the twins’ mouths were drawn in little hard lines again. She must have spaced out for a moment, because she only caught the last half of what Ed said next. 

“-perfect like you, huh? Oh so mighty Mittens. You sound like _Mother_! It's like everyday you’re becoming more and more like her!”

It was all muttered, partly under his breath but still just loud enough for all of them to hear it.

“Mother?” Amity froze. Edric and Emira didn’t respond, just glared at her before they slowly began moving in sync again, just like when Amity had first found them tonight. If they caught on to how much that had hit Amity-they didn’t comment on it.

Before Edric was completely out of the window, he turned to Amity for the last time.

“As sorry as we are for the library incident, there was a reason we were trying to humble you, sis.” He drew a light blue spell circle and then jumped down. Emira was quick to follow suit. On the way down, Amity heard her saying “Don’t tattle on us again” from outside. 

When she heard their footsteps hit the ground safely with relative ease, she shut the window frame down with more force than necessary-still taking care that it was not too loud of an action. She wanted to scream. She wanted to scream a lot of things but the only appropriate or family-friendly one was _Good riddance!_ and that would still be much too loud.

The last thing she needed right now was to draw the attention of one of the help, or worse, draw the attention of one of their parents.

Amity was never quite sure when or if Mother or Father were asleep but she didn’t want to find out if they were awake, so she quieted her footsteps as she walked past Father’s study and the first few other rooms. Being awake past the required time was already a risk, but sneaking out like the twins was another thing entirely. Without a doubt, if she was caught tip-toeing through the house late at night like this, they would assume that’s what she was attempting to do, even though she had no previous track record of doing such a thing.

Amity was even more still as she passed their bedroom, taking a moment to pause beside the large wooden doors that led into Mother and Father’s “shared” living space. She considered opening the door to inform her parents of what had transpired with the twins briefly, but thought against it.

The twins hadn’t outright threatened another fullscale library incident, but it had been evident enough in their voices that if she attempted to tattle even one more time they’d probably come up with something even worse. And last time they’d literally been setting out to post her personal diary pages all over Hexside. She shuddered at the thought of what they might do next, so she jerked away from Mother and Father’s bedrooms.

Whether Amity said something or not, Mother would be perceptive enough to know exactly what happened come morning. She’d just have to hope that she didn’t think Amity was involved in any way, shape, or form. So, Amity retreated to the path to her room-quickly.

Being in the relative clear from running into Mother or Father, Amity made her way over to where Edric and Emira’s rooms were. She didn’t go directly out of her way to pry, of course, but the way the manor was structured and how their parents set up their rooms-the twins’ rooms were simply on the way to her own.

Sure enough, when she peered into either there were clones of Ed and Em tucked away under the comforters. They were eerily and truly realistic- Amity could hypothetically be fooled by them if she didn’t know what was actually going on, and if she didn’t go up to inspect them so closely. Out of spite, she shoved a hand through the illusion of Em, and then the illusion of Ed. But she took little satisfaction when the images of the twins flickered out of existence. With the trick illusions out of sight Amity felt the weight of being alone weigh down on her neck truly and fully. The steps back to her room were less tactful, much more heavy-handed-but she couldn’t find it in herself to care as much when she was likely out of earshot.

In the safety of her space, door now closed, Amity should have been able to breathe. But staring at the Emperor’s Coven poster on her wall and the Abomination-track pink wallpaper that was slowly peeling off of her walls, the feeling solidifying in her stomach was decidedly not relief. She couldn’t unclench her fists-and she didn’t know when she had balled them up to begin with.

The thought of moving was an uncomfortable one, so for now Amity sunk down to the floor at the base of her door, using her arms to pull her knees to her chest.

It was shameful how much small interactions with the twins like that got to her. How much they were _getting_ to her. Right now. She was supposed to be stronger than that. And maybe to a point she was-since she never really got this hung up over petty conversations with say Boscha or Willow, not that they were irrelevant. But if it came to another _Blight_ , even the most inconsequential little fights could leave Amity feeling fractured for hours or days after. 

But it wasn’t just that. Mother. Edric said she was like her. Becoming her. Her chest tightened. Amity had thought about it many times before, of course. Their mother was practically grooming Amity to be a miniature version of herself, down to hair color and style and mannerisms and anything else she could force control over. Amity took to these traits as she didn’t really have any other choice.

Being unlike her in _character_ was the one thing Amity could actually regulate, and to hear directly from Ed she was already on her way to losing that….well. 

Odalia Blight was not a kind person, nor was she healthy. Amity could admit that-it was just an objective fact that wasn’t based on Amity’s half-resentment half-adoration of her. The way she treated Ed and Em specifically...to be compared to that? If that’s what they genuinely thought of Amity, she deserved the cruel and unusual punishments the twins gave her. 

If she was becoming her mom, she deserved a lot of things. Amity sensed more than felt her shoulders tense and her fists clenching tighter. She didn’t want to think about it. But given the hour there was no school work to distract her, and that was often the only thing that properly distracted Amity from anything anymore. 

She couldn’t be her mom. Whether that was a statement of defiance or a guilt-ridden admission was unclear, but either way she was screwed for it. She couldn’t even be a proper Blight. Amity sucked in one sharp breath-of many sharp breaths. She hadn’t realized how erratic her breathing had become, but when she was consciously focusing on it, it was just one more thing to add on to the pile of what Amity couldn’t but should have been able to control. The tightness in her chest was almost painful now. This was panic, in a pure form where it was so much at once Amity almost felt calm-but she couldn’t get her chest to behave right. 

Her eyes burned. Before anything could fall from them she shut them tightly, and when that still wasn’t enough she brought her clenched fists to her face as if she could rub out her ever-growing ache. She was applying too much pressure, but the force of it was something grounding-so even if it hurt Amity felt like she needed it. 

Something sounded inside of Amity’s room-she thinks her poster might have fallen, but she can’t register much outside of it all being too much. Her room is too much, and that is too much, because her room is usually the only safe space she has outside of her secret hideout in the library. She can’t go there, since it’s long past closing hours. But she also can’t stay here. It’s too overwhelming and if she had to stay a second longer she’d probably end up tearing her eyes and ears off. 

She just needed to be out of the manor. With very little other thought and a faux-clear head, Amity stood up and made for the front door.

**Author's Note:**

> What a shitshow :) but do not fret there's a reason I've listed the relationship tags that I have,,  
> I've had this fic in my files for up to months now(hey whats new) and its still burning a hole into me. for all intensive purposes, I finished it and just never posted it. But bc of how its a little old I'll be taking a second to polish it up to my current standard before the other chapters are posted.  
> Comment, tell me what you think! How have we all been holding up in s2 hiatus? i miss the funky little witches


End file.
